so the concert was... awful. not marilyn manson's fault, but idaho's fault. particularly drunk redneck idaho. so for whatever reason, the concert house felt they could fit 1000 people. nope. so in order to see the band i had to fight my way to the front because everyone was much taller than i was. there were like 4 drunk rednecks just being awful. talking about stupid shit and calling manson "brian" which i know is his real name, but out of respect they should call him manson when on stage. i mean, if he wanted to be called brian, the band would be called brian warner not marilyn manson. fuck. then on top of that there was a fat old lady in really cheesy halloween "lolita" garb, and an old lady with a blonde perm and mom earrings wearing hottopic clothing. it was fucking sick. she was acting all nice at first, but when she left to get more beer (this was the 3rd since the opening act) she came back and expected her place back. i even heard her husband or whatever say "this is going to be interesting for me" and she wanted the front, so i turned so we could both be in the spot. there was plenty of room. so drunk and frustrated the old bitch pulled my hair. "we were here first" was her argument. how fucking old was she like 3? seriously. and she was touching the frills on my apron asking me if it was from portrait of an american family. like from the cover i guess. fucking retard. but mike pushed her down when she attacked me and it was so sweet. so then she got over and started shoving and i started shoving back. i thought she wanted to mosh, but apparently she needed like a whole fucking area to dance in. and she kept pushing her husband and he threatened to beat her. i hoped he would or that he would leave, but anyway she yelled at me "you aren't getting in front of me" and i said "i'm not trying to" and for the rest of the concert i could hardly see the stage and they kept getting pissed at people shoving. ITS A FUCKING MARILYN MANSON CONCERT! THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS SPACE! not to mention, when going to a rock concert, can you expect anything less? there i am dressed like alice in fucking wonderland and an old soccer mom bitch and her fat friend think that if they go to this concert at the age of 50 that it will be all dainty and what not. and so i anchored myself to the rail so i wouldnt get pushed back anymore and the douche to the left and his girlfriend started wanting more space and kept trying to take my hand off the rail and stomp on my feet. like i would move them around so they wouldn't be in the way and he would purposely stomp on them. fucking assholes. and when the concert was over they were like "you can have the rail now. its all yours" fucking douchebags. so most of the concert was spent thinking about what i could get away with as far as bodily injury. i didn't take my meds and only slept 2 hours so of course all this impacted me much more than it should have. also right after the show i wanted to buy some memorabilia, but then i guess the concert house caught fire or some shit and we had to evacuate. i fucking took a vacation around this concert, made an outfit, looked forward to it more than anything for the last month and now i just feel fucking defeated. over all i had more fun getting ready and waiting in line. also there were like 8 year olds and fucking fat moms and people sleeping and shit. marilyn manson, i am so sorry for idaho. so so very sorry. but the good thing or whatever is i think that he did notice me because i stood out. i mean i think it was the head dress or something but i swear he looked me right in the eye and did a double take. but fuck, i'm probably wrong. i'll cling to anything to make it seem worth the 94 dollars and anticipation.

so............... i'm super happy because today i go to see marilyn manson! also i've been making this alice in wonderland themed lolita dress that i got the supplies for like two weeks ago and the inspiration like forever ago and motivation like 3 days ago. so i decided to make it and wear it to the concert so i had a deadline. it's 8:16 am and i've been up since 11 am yesterday morning working only stopping to pay rent, eat once and play like 15 minutes of world of warcraft. and i'm totally a noob at that. i started with a blood elf death night which is pretty cool, but i keep not knowing what i'm doing and i end up embarrassing myself. anyway, so now i only have to put some bows and ribbons on it, adjust the apron a bit more to fit (it's a heart chest apron) and it was my second attempt at the apron when i decided that i wanted the heart one more. it turned out way better because i was definite on what i wanted. i'm soooooooo happy with how it came out!!! i'll post pictures as soon as i get some time to get some good angles. i don't want to just post like a candid style picture. also i will most likely put in another entry with the details of the concert!! so excited!!

so i got my tax stimulus or whatever from last year which was a complete surprise to me because it was practically gone in my mind and i only got 300 but i was excited just to get anything. so what did i do with the money? im almost up to date with my dethklok collection minus 2 figures 2 hoodies and a set of guitar picks, so i spent like 120 or something on my collection, mike took me to a music store and i got 2 sets of different hello kitty guitar picks for jewelry, 4 pairs of hello kitty underwear and most exciting of them all A NEW EFFING SEWING MACHINE!!! i looked online for reviews first, this one was like the best. it had the most reviews, the highest rating out of those, and it was only like $100. my old piece of crap was on there too and it was the same amount, but it sucks and it rattles and it breaks the thread and it ripped my latest project and made me feel so defeated last week and i got really depressed over it. like the kind of depressed that is best conveyed by nathan explosion in the dethdoubles episode when he was all like "WE CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIIIIIGHT!" so i got to try it out at sears and its exactly like my old shitty thing but its quieter and smoother and more features-er and ruffler foot available-er and totally awesome. i bought that shit like whoa. and the ruffler foot. i bought that shit so hard. then when i got it home i was seeing all what i could do and there is an option for free style embroidery or some shit and you have to take the guide teeth or whatever off. so i did and then after i used the ruffler which is a bitch to set up when youve never used one before. so i get it all set up and the thread keeps breaking like amillion times. so i thought it was the thread from the 70s that i was using, then i thought it was the shottily spun thread i was using. then i figured i was doing it wrong. so i spent like an hour watching videos on how to use it, but most of them weren't what they were labeled so i watched a bunch of general sewing videos. then i found a video of a girl just showing what the result was. i swear it was like a 10 second video, and i thought i figured it out. so i watched one more linked from that with actual instructions, and then i tried to do a proper ruffle like ironing and everything like it was some serious shit and when i started to sew the rough edges together i noticed that I FORGOT TO PUT THE EFFING TEETH BACK UP and then i put them back and used it and it was great and now i am excited again but am also slightly annoyed with myself.

i just started playing final fantasy 10 for the first time like 2 or 3 weeks ago, and i got to the infamous kiss cut scene and saved in the monster ranch in the calm lands. i was helping mike play his game so we could get tidus' legendary weapon, that terrible chocobo catcher mini game and after 3 days of steady playing, i experimented with the d-pad instead of the left analog stick and fucking won. i was so excited that i got on the airship after making the sword and went to save and I FUCKING SAVED OVER MY GAME GODDAMN! i feel like such a gaytard. also work sucked. my "promotion" sucked and inventory will infinitely suck. but god damn i put like 28 hours into that bitch exploring every inch of the map and stuff because im a total fucking nerd. it sucks so hard. but on the good side, i'll have my boyfriends completed game to get the al-bhed primers. and i bought the guide because i love things like that (mainly for the art, but also to cheat) and so i can go through it more thoroughly and ive had lots of clothing ideas and art ideas from the game and i'm going to attempt making lulu's outfit so i can use the reference of the character introduction cut scene to my advantage.

today just a few minutes ago i realized that it doesn't matter what i say, rather it is what someone else says. and the fact that they are on my side makes all the difference. i'm much happier now.